How do I become the best version of myself?

The real you, the person your soul intends you to be, is hidden under layers of learned behaviour that doesn't serve you and fears that are holding you back. Here's a simple exercise to find out who you really are underneath.

Designing the real you.

Have you ever thought about the person you want to be?

All you need is a the simple form below. The purpose of the exercise is to:

1. Realise who you don't want to be first (because you may not have noticed the characteristics that make you miserable), then

2. Identify who you do want to be (which is normally the opposite behaviour to the one you don't want to be).
   

Define clearly what elements of your personality and habits you want to leave behind and clarify those you are going to practise and start to become. Use the headings to help you form the clearest picture you can so that you can redirect yourself when you drift back to the ‘old you’.  Below is an example of a completed form, to give you an idea of how to set out the exercise. Design what feels comfortable and even exciting for you.

You might like to start with a vision of the ideal 'new you' by summarising it. Here's an example.

Summary: I want to be…

Someone who is calm, confident, authoritative, vibrant, who people are pleased to see when I walk in the room. Someone who inspires others, who people can confide in.

Now set out the behaviours and characteristics that you don't want to carry forward into your new life on the left of the page, with the new ways of being on the right. Here are some more examples.

Old Me	New Me
Posture  Hunched shoulders Walking on front of feet Rapid, shallow breathing	Posture  Straight back Grounded feet fully planted on floor Slow, calm breathing
Default attitude/energy Alert, wary, nervous  Apologetic attitude Fade into the background Worried about what might happen Lack of control of how to improve life	Default attitude/energy  Calm, relaxed Authoritative Lively, inspirational, exciting Always looking for ways to enjoy life Expect good things to happen Shrug off the things that go wrong Grateful for life’s opportunities to grow
My inner dialogue about myself Always trying not to screw up Berating myself for saying something stupid Looking ahead to limit future mistakes	My inner dialogue about myself Respect for what I achieve on a daily and long-term basis Understanding and non-judgement of whatever I do, I’m doing my best Concentrating on the present moment and what good I can do now It really doesn’t matter what others think of me
What I assumed others were thinking of me Their skills aren’t impressive Their opinion doesn’t matter They are nice enough but unremarkable	What I assume others are thinking of me I value their opinion I admire their skills It’s always good to see them They make me feel better

Keep this document handy and commit as much of it as you can to memory. Now start acting like the new you and remind yourself to reject and sidestep the old ways of being. It's simply about creating new habits towards the new you now.

My promise to myself:

Every time I catch myself behaving the old way, I shall say to myself: “That was the old me, what does the new me do?”